Preschool Graduation Party

My first born recently graduated from preschool. I do not know when it became appropriate to have a graduation ceremony because you can color on paper and not on the table.


So to celebrate this amazing accomplishment I decided to take my 5 year old on the Preschool Graduation Trip to end all Preschool Graduation Trips. Being the reigning father of the year where else would I take my son then LAS VEGAS!!!

My wife who just recently allowed me to remove my ankle monitoring bracelet wouldn't allow us to go unsupervised. She's only one more dirty look away from winning the title of "Fun Hater" but that's a different story for a different day.

So I load the whole crew in the Impala and we are rollin. The chants of "We're going to Vegas" died out after about 10 minutes and one "BE QUIET OR I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND. " I am not going to identify who said what but there is a clue in the previous paragraph. Once alpha dog status was established in the car everything else was cruise control. I literally set the cruise control at 84 and refused to touch the brake. It's actually a fun game that you should try, but not in rush hour, and only if your spouse is sleeping.

Being the high roller that I am I had to show the kids where their Mom spent their college fund and my retirement in one night of madness. The kids were less than impressed. My readers are probably wondering how did I navigate the strip with 3 impressionable kids? Did we drive our car, take a bus, taxi? None of the above we walked. I know all you worry wart parents are saying to yourselves what about all the porn. Upon seeing hundreds of "business cards" discarded on the pavement The Graduate a.k.a. Carson said "Dad Vegas is a dirty city" Yes it is son yes it is. I heard a saying once, it may have been at church "A family that sees porn together stays together." Don't quote me on that one thought



A silver lining from this trip is that in 16 years when my little girl says "Daddy can I go with my friends to Las Vegas for Spring Break? I've never been there before PLEEEASE!!" I have photographic evidence to shoot that idea down.




Aubree and I fought over who got to carry around "Carlos" in the Baby Bjourn. Obviously I lost that argument. For those of you keeping score at home Aubree 83, JR 0. As happy as Brenner is in this photo I wish we had captured the devastation on his face when he realized the M&M was not edible.



Carlos was complaining of a runny nose the whole trip so Brenner always the misguided helper tried to shove the community light saber up her nose to plug it up. If you are wondering where The Graduate is in these photos I was able to get a fake ID for him (thanks again for the idea Aubree maybe you aren't a fun hater after all) Fun facts we have recently learned about Carson, he is afraid of life sized M&M's and he thinks he can kill a bear with a stick and his bare hands.

Three key take away's from the trip
1. Contrary to what others may say "Thunder Down Under" is not a live action documentary about Australia.
2. Four adults, and 3 children in car seats can fit rather comfortably in an Impala, as long as I am in the drivers seat.
3. The couch is comfy.