I got my first taste in watching others run when I, along with a bunch of my family ran a 10k two years. One of my sister's, Melissa (the one next to Aubree) came up with the genius idea. I should have suspected she had ulterior motives. At one point in her life she wrote in her journal "I want to chop J.R. up into little pieces and flush him down the toilet". I know this because I would regularly read her journal. I also would sit on her chest, tap on her head and make her name ten candy bars. I even replaced her Sir Mix-A-Lot CD that I kind of broke. Sure it took me 8 years but have you ever tried to buy a Sir Mix-A-Lot CD its kind of embarrassing. To recap Melissa enjoys running, used to listen to Sir Mix-A-Lot, and wants to hurt me, obviously Melissa has poor judgment.
The road way was lined with people sitting on the curb, wearing patriotic garb, getting their faces painted, and stuffing nachos into their faces.
While running I had this nagging feeling I would be much better at watching people run, rather than actually physically exerting myself. Since I have a go getter type A personality, I set a goal. I wanted to watch someone else run a marathon. As with most goals that get set, unexpected results happen along the way. For more information on unexpected results see my previous post "Why I Blog".
I went online to find a training schedule. Unfortunately, most of the search results were tailored towards training to RUN a marathon, not observing a marathon. I was left to my own devices and I came up with my own spectator training schedule. The training involved making Aubree leave the house 6 days a week to run anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours at a time. I made sure to train in the morning because that is when marathons happen. I would slave away making breakfast for my kids, usually having to make at least 2 bowls of Captain Crunch per child and making sure Brenner gets the Spiderman spoon.
The hardest days were called "The Long Watches" they involved playing Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare (even though COD Black OPS has been in stores for weeks) and watching TV for over 3 hours while waiting for Aubree to run at least 20 miles AND make a mandatory bathroom break at Port-A-Potty. Have you ever tried to play video games for 3 hours while your children want attention? It's impossible. Fortunately our window screens make it nearly impossible for the prying eyes of a 3 year old to see inside.
If you turn the TV up loud enough it usually muffles the crying. Getting 3 kids outside and locking the door can be tricky but it is so worth it.
FYI: My children believe Santa Claus tunnels into your backyard and if you put your ear to the ground you can hear him.
I can't even count how many times during training where the thought crossed my mind, can I really watch some one run a marathon? What am I going to do with my kids while I'm busy waiting for someone to trip and fall 30 feet from the finish line? After some serious soul searching and reflection I had an epiphany. Why not have Aubree take at least 1 or possibly 2 kids with her while she runs the marathon? After all her sister in law gave her a jogging stroller about 7 years ago. All it needs is a little WD-40 and that bad boy is ready to go. Just look how happy our little Diva is sitting in a stroller. Just imagine the size of the smile if the stroller was moving.
Once again Aubree shot down one of my ideas. It's almost like she had her mind made up to tell me no irregardless of what I was about to say or suggest. And she wonders why I never take any initiative or plan anything? Maybe if she pretended to feel bad when she says no to every suggestion I make I wouldn't feel so crushed and emotionally empty. My wife's negative attitude wasn't about to derail me. I had a goal and I was going to complete it.
Just when I thought I would have to pay attention to my kids instead of focusing on watching the race I had an idea that amazed even myself. I recruited some of Aubree's close girlfriends to watch my kids so I could watch the race. I am a genius. Although this nearly backfired as one of my children went missing on race day, oops I'm getting ahead of myself.
Fast forward to the night before Marathon Watching Day. The training schedule was pretty light, it called for watching football while the kids play outside unsupervised.
Any goal worth accomplishing is never easy. The next roadblock to successful training involved a last minute house guests. My wife's Dad, brothers and 2 nephews came to town for a funeral. While they attended to family matters i was so busy making Macaroni and Cheese and watching football I barely had time to take a nap.
Fortunately, once Carson gets up in the tree he is unable to get down, so that's one less child to worry about.
The saying, "It's always darkest before dawn" is so true. At 7:30 PM on the night before the race Aubree read online that she needed to pick up her race number in Mesa by 6:00 PM the night BEFORE the race. My dream of watching a marathon was going up in smoke. After many tears, phone calls, and one profanity laced tirade, I finally convinced Aubree that just because she wouldn't be running the marathon it didn't mean I wasn't going to watch the marathon. I was going to the finish line with or without her. Rather than being stuck home alone with the kids while I watch complete strangers run, Aubree decided we would all get up extra early and head down to the starting line and threaten the marathon organizers with bodily harm if they don't let her race. Cooler heads prevailed and despite what the PF Chang's Marathon Official website says you can pick up your number on race day.
Aubree headed to the starting line and I went back home. I opened a box of Pop Tarts threw in "Finding Nemo" for the kids and I was back in bed. It took me almost 7 minutes to fall asleep. 3 1/2 hours later my alarm went off. I reloaded the kids and we are off to the finish line. I wisely prepacked soda, cookies, candy, and the camera into my backpack to keep the whining to a minimum. I let the kids bring one toy each so they would keep quiet as well. Aubree's friends/ my babysitters showed up on time and our caravan departed right on schedule.
After parking the car and loading up the stroller, we made it almost 10 feet before the wheel fell off. I knew I should have made Aubree take one of the kids.
Despite my protests (Avee does know how to walk after all) Aubree's friends/my babysitters carried Avee to the finish line. She is so spoiled it's insane.
We made it in plenty of time to watch runner after runner get wrapped up like a baked potato in tin foil.
Side note: That man's medical training consisted of Season 1 of "Grey's Anatomy" after that season "Grey's" really went down hill.
Carson was very excited to see Aubree wearing a Batman cape. However this photo captures Aubree consoling Carson as he realized that Aubree isn't really Batman and she didn't bring her purse full of candy.
Of course Aubree's friends/my babysitters had to get in on the hugging and congratulating. While Heather is hugging Aubree please make note that Kelly is holding Avee. This is the last we saw of Avee for what seemed like 45 minutes but in reality was probably 4.
In Kelly's excitement to hug and congratulate a sweat drenched marathon running Aubree, Avee went missing. No one knows for sure who was supposed to be watching Avee. I just know that I was there to watch people cross the finish line, not my own kids.
I couldn't help but think that if I had held firm and made Avee walk from the car to the finish line then she might have been to tired to wander off. Or if Aubree had ran the marathon with Avee in the Baby Bjorn (guess what Aubree said to that one?) then I'd be able to focus on my goal of watching the marathon and not trying to remember how to activate the Amber Alert system in Arizona. Fortunately my months of training kicked in. I had been not supervising my kids for weeks while Aubree ran. This is what I had been training for. I knew that neglecting my children for hours on end would be beneficial. While the women folk scattered in every direction to try and find the lost child, this was just a typical day out with Daddy for me. In a calm and collected manner (remember I lose my kids all the time, usually at Wal-Mart), I made an accounting of all the children in our group and told them all to stay with Hot Todd (more on him in a different post). Now I was able to start the search. I headed towards the refreshment area, after all what kid doesn't like treats. I promptly found Avee being held by a young lady who was very nice and sweet. Not surprisingly when given the choice between me and a complete stranger Avee chose the stranger. Fortunately Aubree soon arrived so Avee was excited to see someone. With my goal of watching a marathon completed and all of my children present and accounted for, it was time to head home. I just hope Aubree doesn't want to do a triathlon, the couch can't handle all my training.
