So this is my first post on my new and improved blog. The biggest (and only) change my legion of bloggettes will notice is the name change to something that my wife will allow.
So this photo was taken while I was giving a very emotional, touching, and thought provoking toast at one of my wife's friends wedding. If you can take your eyes off of the wedgie you will notice the woman in the pink sweater is crying. My speech undoubtly moved her to tears. While giving quite possibly one of the lamest "I am so happy for you blah, blah" wedding speeches, I noticed that everyone at my table was doing there best to not laughing. This is not an unusual occurence to hear laughter when I speak, especially at a wedding, however this was a serious speech and alcohol had not been served at my table.
Upon completion of my remarks I was shown this awesome photo. I will now break down this wedgie that will forever be frozen in time, (thank you Reed Edwards). You will notice that my pants are cleaving my buttocks in two which is quite an accomplishment because if you ask my wife to describe my butt she would undoubtly say "stinky and non-existent". The depth of the wedgie is an optical illusion it looks as if my pants could indeed be touching my colon, while in reality I would have gone through the reception line and on to the refreshment table and never noticed any discomfort. I would like to point out that one of my so called friends, rather than using her hand to tap me on the shoulder and inform me that my slacks are taking advantage of me instead is pointing out for the back half of the dinner party "Hey everybody this dude has his pants up his ass." Thanks Natalie Higgins I know who not to call when I am diagnosed with prostate cancer. But hey at least you got a cheap laugh right?
